Troubled with the wrong "right words?"

What I mean to say is.....althought I mean what I say, I don't always say what I mean. Do ya know what I mean? I really do mean to say what I mean, but what I say is not exactly what I do mean to say. Some people are good listeners and understand what I'm trying to say, but many others take what I say as if I'm trying to be mean. So then how do I say I didn't mean to be mean when I still need to say what I do mean to say? At this point, let's say I finally say what I mean.....would one still think I was too mean to bother listening to what I say? What I intend to say is not supposed to be mean. It'd be so nice to have someone know what I mean....without me having to say...anything! Know what I mean?